"She's a great student; she just needs to understand that SCHOOL is not for SOCIALIZING."
Who knew that my second grade teacher was a prophet?
Finding the balance between what I am supposed to do with my time and what I feel like doing with my time has been a lifetime struggle. I think of the words of Paul in Romans 7 and relax in the knowledge that since my battle is not just Physical and Physiological, but also Spiritual in nature, it can be overcome with the help of the One who created our complex beings. I am not in this alone.
There are days when I feel the urge to connect and encourage others so strongly that it truly does feel like a mission. My goal on Facebook is to find a way to let the people in that world feel loved. I pray that the comments I leave with let them know that they matter to me. I take a few moments to look --and "LIKE"--the pictures of their child playing soccer or their new grandchild--because I want them to know that I am happy for them and that I am on the sidelines of their life--cheering them on! In these moments I feel that the Lord looks at my second grade attempts of encouragement and is pleased with my yearning to socialize.
Then there are days when I am insecure and doubtful in my own life choices and rather than taking my insecurities to the Lord, I feel drawn to find some relief in the Blue and White world of Profiles and Updates. Checking and rechecking the updates, clicking in a numb and dull state--comparing what is happening in the lives of others with what is NOT happening in the life of myself. My world begins to feel as small as the laptop I hold -- and I ignore the whispers of the Lord who longs for me to come outside and walk with Him.
Finding balance between the good and the "not so good" is harder for me than the obvious battles of good verses bad. It is harder for all of us. But, once again...we are not in this alone.
For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.
For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do,
but I am doing the very thing I hate.
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