Thursday, April 28, 2011

C is for Crazy Cat Lady

GUEST BLOGGER! Luna Lovegood
Before beginning, I would like to take a moment to thank Adventures in the Ordinary for having me as their guest blogger today. I find the work on this blog riveting and insightful and I am honored to be a contributing author to this site. ~L.L.

I was born in February of 2010 and I share a home with my two Step Sisters, a Canine and a Feline. In the home that my Sisters and I own, we lease space to my Adoptive Parents. They reside in the interior dwelling, with their litter of three. Recently, I myself became the mother to triplets. Since the birth of my children, there has been some speculation over whether or not my Mother, with whom I live, would become a "Crazy Cat Lady" if she did not have a man living in the home with her. I would like to present some evidence to the contrary. I think when you hear the facts as to why it would be impossible for her to ever be considered a Crazy Cat Lady you will be able to help me in my pursuit to dispel the fears of my Father, and join me in my petition to let me keep my three children. 
While there are days that my Mother does come across as a bit of a loon, I believe that these things are far from anything related to the feline world. One of the most glaring examples of her failing judgment is her utter disregard for safety. For example, last summer, I watched as she climbed onto a piece of inflated plastic and floated on top of the water that fills the gigantic hole in my backyard. Surely, my Mother has a death wish, or perhaps, she has a brain tumor that is pressing against the Amygdala portion of her brain, inhibiting her ability to understand what she should fear. After seeing her riding about on the pink, plastic, rectangular tube, I attempted to show her how unstable it was. In my attempt to maneuver the "boat" it immediately lost all air pressure. Just by my touch I was able to deflate it. This should have been evidence to her that riding it was a bad idea. Did she thank me for showing her the instability of her device? No, she simply found another plastic floating device to proceed with her X-treme sport. Now, while this is crazy, this is certainly NOT something that can be contributed to a Cat Lady dysfunction.

For my second point, I would like to present the following video as evidence. And, I would like to offer thanks to my brothers for introducing me to the likes of the following video.

You will notice that the Crazy Cat Lady in this video does not take care of her cats. My Mother is nothing like this. She is very gentle and hardly ever throws me. My Father, on the other paw, will often kick me off the bed with his foot, but as I fly through the air (always landing on my feet) my Mother always gives him the evil cat eye. Surely, she would never throw her cats. You will also notice that the Crazy Cat Lady in this video did not do her hair or her make-up. My Mother would never leave the house looking like that. While she is not a fashion-ista, she does take the time to bathe and apply mascara. 

Finally, the last and best point in cast to prove that my Mother is not on the path towards becoming a Crazy Cat Lady is evidenced in her writings on her blog and in her social networking. A woman who is slowly losing touch with the "real world" would be writing of her cats activities as though anyone else in the world cared. A future Crazy Cat Lady would be posting pictures of her cat and shots of her cat's litter. My Mother is far from that. She rarely talks about me in public and hardly ever makes reference to me in conversations or in speaking engagements. If my Mother were truly on her way to becoming a Crazy Cat Lady, I would not have had to introduce myself at the beginning of this post, you would have already known who I was.

Thank you for allowing me to join you on the path of self discovery. I look forward to reading your comments and your words for the letter "C". And, rest assured, tomorrow, for the letter "D" we will not be hearing from the Dog--hate to tell you, but, she is a moron.