The Name that I Wear

Write about SHOES.

Write for 5 minutes. No longer than that!

 My Double Link Challenge. 

I am linking today with The Red Dress Club and The Gypsy Mama.

I hope you enjoy this short thought, and I hope it LIFTS your mind to God. 

We live in a world that is branded. I cannot imagine that 100 years ago anyone would have considered that we would have names for our shoes.

photo credit - Pam Booher of my son, Austin. 

Can you imagine the poor shoemaker waking in the morning to the elves who had come in the night to complete the shoes while he slept...

"What were you thinking, little men, you put a TOMS label on the back of these RUNNING SHOES!?"

Everything that can be claimed, for the sake of advertising and sales, has been given a name. We are walking billboards for those who want to mount the world with their product or their name.

And, in my midlife attempts of trying to be in the know with the fashion-istas of the world, I reach a point where I trust in the knowledge that when the day finally comes that my body no longer succumbs to gravity, no one will care what brand I had on.  When I rise to the sound of trumpets, it will not matter what name is on the bottom shoes that I wear, but merely, the Name that is written on my heart.

"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ." Philippians 3:7

Painful Things to Hear

photo credit to http://www.earningguys.com/

Half of me is cleaning my bathroom before people arrive at my house for a barbeque. One quarter of me is planning and plotting my next blog. One eighth of me is trying to decide if I have time for a shower. And, then quietly the other eighth of me is saying, "Stop blogging".

Stubbornly, I ignore the eighth of me that is telling me to stop doing the thing that has been so fulfilling, especially of lately. Divided as I am, I turn my attentions to the vacuum cleaner, the proportions of what I am doing are altered a bit, but the voice still whispers, "Stop blogging".

I walk away from the vacuum and move to my desk. I sit at my laptop with the evening sun beating through my westward facing window, and onto my face. It is hot and uncomfortable, and I am angry as I punch on the keys. Angry that I have to still run the vacuum. Angry that I am feeling torn and divided inside of myself. Angry most of all at the whispering voice in my head. This doesn't make any sense...I type.

This doesn't make any sense.

I know this voice and it is not a voice of confusion. It wouldn't tell me to stop what I am doing just to cause me anxiety. What purpose would be served in me stopping my writing? I am so overcome with emotion that I could easily cry, but considering my history with emotionalism, I don't trust these feelings.

I leave my computer and I turn on the shower. Now, half of me is thinking about face wash and shampoo. And the other half of me is crying out to the Lord for an answer to His whisper to me. I stand in my shower and with water beating me down-- I look at the words I have taped to the wall. 

"perplexed...but not in despair...persecuted but not abandoned...struck down but not destroyed."

This morning I wake with questions on my heart for the Lord.
"What is Your plan? You led me to writing as a way to honor YOU. You gave me a desire for service through expression. You have confirmed to me over and over, that You can use my words...and now, You whisper to me to stop blogging?"

And I hear the whisper again. "Stop blogging."

I head back to my shower, hoping to find comfort in the water. Warmth and comfort. But, as the water nudges me, I hear something new. "This blogging. Is it for Me or for you?"

Are you kidding me? It's for you, Lord! I have been writing for You! And then, I pause and I wonder...has my writing stopped being for Him?  

Would I write if no one ever read it?

photo credit to http://www.caffeinatedcoder.com/

Would I write with such enthusiasm if there were nothing in it for me. My heart sinks and I want to disable my FOLLOWER button. I want to urge people not to LIKE this. But, I can't. The part of me that can't won't becomes a place of shame.

And, at the end of my blog for today...the only hope that I have comes back to the words taped on the wall of a shower.

"perplexed...but not in despair...persecuted but not abandoned...struck down but not destroyed."

I am not going to be destroyed by my own self seeking, self promoting nature. It may confuse me as I work my way through it, but not to the point of despair. And in the same way, I am not abandoned, because I seek the Lord to guide me through and He will stay with me even through the ocean of self doubt that rages within.

---

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 

For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."

Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 2 Cor. 4:8-14

Green Blessings

Blessings come in many colors. 

Tonight the blessing had a green tint. 

We were given 2nd Row seats 

to the Opening Night Broadway production of Shrek ~ the Musical.

There are things that we love to do, 
that we would not be able to do, 
if God did not bless us through the generosity of the people in the church where we serve.

Thank you to the wonderful couple 
who chose to give my husband and I night on the town. 

 Linking today with LACE, Women Living Well, and Walk with Him Wednesdays.

Why I Am Not God - Reason #247

photo credit to http://flic.kr/p/4oLDMs

I like to halfheartedly tease my daughter and tell her that she suffers from a co-dependent disorder. Her desire to be around people has always been strong. Since her first after church play date, when she was 3 and half, she learned quickly that having a friend around was better than not. But, being that I am much more introverted than she, I see a world of possibly in what is to be discovered in one's time alone. And, naturally, being that I am the parent, when I notice the small flaws in my children, I want to help them over come.

She takes my teasing, perhaps, because she is fully aware that her Mother has issues of her own, one of which being that this Mother doesn't have the relaxed social skills that her Daughter possesses. She knows that I am the one who has the problem with intimacy in friendships. She is comfortable doing whatever it is that she intended, with any friend who wants to join her, whereas, I am weary at inviting someone to join me, because they may not really want to come along, or what if the conversation begins to lag, or what if aliens attack and we are stuck in an elevator for 12 days and all we have to eat are orange flavored tic-tacs.

So, she looks at my life and doesn't always understand how I can be so comfortable doing things alone, and I look at her life and DECIDE that she needs to be more independent. I make a judgement and a decision about her lifestyle, because even though she is a grown, married woman--I am her Mother, and I know what is best. 

Less than a year ago, she booked a flight to Colorado to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of one her lifelong friends. I was so proud of her for making this trip on her own. She had traveled alone before to see this same friend in Florida, but that was so long ago--and I was feeling like she needed to make some more strides in her independence. Well, the night before she was to leave for the airport a series of text messages revealed that not only would she be on the same flight as some other friends who were also traveling for the wedding...but she was sitting in the row just behind them! I had to shake my head, and then humbly offer up praise to One who was obviously taking care of my little girl.

The Jurors ~ just last month...

Well, this week, God, once again, reminded me, that I am not He and that He will continue to work in her life as He pleases. My daughter was married just one month ago, and so her mail is still trying to find her, by way of our mailbox. She received a summons for Jury Duty, which is to be served in the local courthouse, building 15 on August 1st. This is her first time to be on Jury Duty. I looked at the letter and thought, "She's going to have to do this alone. She can't take a friend to this one." Well, within seconds, my mind was a little confused by the twin envelope in the mailbox. Another call for Jury Duty...this one for her Dad. He has been called to the same local courthouse, building 15 on August 1st. 

Well, what do you know? I am ever so gently reminded that God's plans are not always as mine. He knows what she needs and His timing is perfect. The best I can do is continue to humbly offer praise for the way He takes care of my little girl. 

O Lord, You are my God;
I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name;
For You have worked wonders,
Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness.

Isaiah 25:1 

The Jurors...just moments ago ;-)

 
Linking today for Thought Provoking Thursdays with somegirlswebsite.com!

Media Mondays: Purpose vs. Obsession

"She's a great student; she just needs to understand that SCHOOL is not for SOCIALIZING." 

Who knew that my second grade teacher was a prophet? 

Finding the balance between what I am supposed to do with my time and what I feel like doing with my time has been a lifetime struggle. I think of the words of Paul in Romans 7 and relax in the knowledge that since my battle is not just Physical and Physiological, but also Spiritual in nature, it can be overcome with the help of the One who created our complex beings. I am not in this alone.

There are days when I feel the urge to connect and encourage others so strongly that it truly does feel like a mission. My goal on Facebook is to find a way to let the people in that world feel loved. I pray that the comments I leave with let them know that they matter to me. I take a few moments to look --and "LIKE"--the pictures of their child playing soccer or their new grandchild--because I want them to know that I am happy for them and that I am on the sidelines of their life--cheering them on! In these moments I feel that the Lord looks at my second grade attempts of encouragement and is pleased with my yearning to socialize.

Then there are days when I am insecure and doubtful in my own life choices and rather than taking my insecurities to the Lord, I feel drawn to find some relief in the Blue and White world of Profiles and Updates. Checking and rechecking the updates, clicking in a numb and dull state--comparing what is happening in the lives of others with what is NOT happening in the life of myself. My world begins to feel as small as the laptop I hold -- and I ignore the whispers of the Lord who longs for me to come outside and walk with Him. 

Finding balance between the good and the "not so good" is harder for me than the obvious battles of good verses bad. It is harder for all of us. But, once again...we are not in this alone.  

For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.  

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, 

  but I am doing the very thing I hate.  

 Romans 7:14-15

Read more about Media Mondays at Women Living Well Ministries.