Saturday, February 12, 2011

"I'm in Over my Head!"

"I'm in over my head!" That's what I keep hearing in my own head. I've over-committed and because of that I am going to mess everything up and then everyone will finally know that I am a complete fraud!
Naturally when people figure out that I am not equipped to handle the things I said I would do, they will respond without an ounce of understanding, grace or mercy. They will feel that they have no other choice but to implement the following changes into my life:
1) I will be kicked out of my book club. They will meet behind closed doors where they will discuss the matter and then they will put it to a vote, the outcome will be unanimous. I will be asked to burn all books that we read together and to never discuss them again.
2) My kitten will be removed from my home. She will be taken to a home where she will be fed canned food and her name will be changed to Ginger. She will be forced to use a kitty litter box and rather than kitty litter, they will shred pictures of me so that she will have to defaecate on my face.
3) I won't be allowed to go to Chipotle' anymore. Sadly, the burrito bowls and the chips and guacamole will be unattainable to me, because if ANYONE is caught bringing me a to-go order, the owners will yank the brown bag from their grip and replace all said items with Taco Bell items. So sad.
4) I will not be allowed on any of the hiking trails by my home and I will be forced to return to a life of sidewalk walking and stale classes at the gym. The trees will block my attempt to cross the small streams on the paths.

It is really too bad that I have gotten in over my head, and rather than write on my blog, I imagine that I should be reading one of the 7 books I need to finish, working on one of the 2 studies that I said I would teach, writing my mission letter, folding the laundry that has been in the dryer for 3 days, cleaning the bathroom or kitchen floors, walking the dog, dusting the living room or hunting for shoes for the wedding...but, I would rather be with you.
So, here I sit in my quiet home, not taking advantage of the stillness of this evening by educating myself. Nope, not one bit.