Tools for the Trade

When I was 19 years old and a student in Acting School, I worked with my Dad, who was a carpenter by trade, on a building project. On weekends he was repairing and rebuilding a fire damaged duplex he owned. He would pay me (more generously than I deserved) to pound nails and spread stucco. It was during that time that my Dad taught me how to use a hammer correctly. I had used a hammer many times before, but it was then that I learned to hold it in a manner that the hammer would do the work--and not my arm.

As a wedding gift my Dad gave me a tool kit made up of a hammer, tape measure, a level, a wrench and other handy gadgets--all with traces of the color pink. I guess he knew that in my new home I would need tools, and that I would no longer have the unlimited resources of the garage of a Licensed Contractor. 

Tools for the trade. Not the blueprints. And not the finished product. Simply the tools to get me to where I was going. 

Today, our lives and the lives of our children have been inundated with new tools--media tools. Everywhere we look we see the big blue f, we catch a glimpse of a blue bird as she goes twittering by, and we are encouraged to "get an app for that". Each generation has a new frontier to navigate--and this land of technology and social media seems to be theirs. And so, the way that I parent has had to find ways to incorporate that which they are drawn to, that which is just a normal part of their lives, into the things I want them to discover about themselves and the call that God has on their lives. 

In my church's worship service this week, our Pastor shared a quote from Dr. W Edward Deming, from a time Deming was speaking to top management leaders in Japan during the 1950's--he was encouraging them on how to improve design, product quality and testing. At one point in the lengthy quote, Deming says, "Improve something every single day!" And when I heard that, I was reminded of my children and the goals they are trying to achieve in their own lives. And the strides that I want to see them make in achieving their goals. 

We are called to use this tool of media to get our children to stretch and strain--to grow little by little. By doing this, the tools REMAIN tools and the children become better equipped to use them correctly. 

Last night, my married daughter and I were discussing her starting a blog. Well, actually, I was telling her that I thought she should. She just got a fabulous camera and I have some great photo editing tools. I know how much blogging has inspired me, and I would love to see that creativity EXPLODE from inside of her. I would love to see her develop an interest she has into a creative passion that the Lord can use in exciting ways. How do I know the passion will explode? 

I guess I don't. But, I still need to hand her the hammer and show her how to use it. And if the blog is the tool--then great! We are already a bit of a blogging family. And I encourage it all.

My older son has one blog called Sill on Life, where he shares his thoughts and sometimes writes poetry. He has another blog titled Sill on Film --where he sometimes reviews movies. It doesn't define him, but it is there for him when he wants to express.

My youngest child, also a son, has three blogs. He has one, that he writes on most frequently called Curiously Bizarre--where he practices his writing skills with both fiction and non-fiction. And he has two fiction sites--one is the story of a Superhero, Knight Phoenix, that my son created in Elementary school. The blog is titled, Angel of Fire and the other is the journey of the Biblical characters David and Saul, in a turn of the century American Western setting--called The Chronicles of Samuel. You can visit them if you are so inclined. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me if you do or you don't. Whether people read what my sons are writing or not doesn't matter, what matters to me is that they are using their gifts. 

   

Through the time that we have been "playing" with our blogs, I have watched as my sons have been discovering new passions. Passion for poetry, passion for expression, passion for writing. Through these passions their lives will unfold as they discover ways to use their gifts to serve the Lord and further his kingdom.

So, as I hammer away at these keys on my keyboard I ask my Heavenly Father each day, "Am I doing it right?" And, in the times that I feel His encouragement, I do all that I can to pass that along to my children--no matter how old.

"Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, 

and my fingers for battle" 

Psalm 144:1

The Tweets of King Henry the VIII

I've heard people complain that spending too much time on-line can cause problems in your marriage. Couples who were "doing just fine" suddenly have issues because he is always online playing fantasy football and she is always online adding more and more pins to her boards on Pinterest.  Before too long, she Stumbles Upon an old flame and sparks begin to fly. In the mean time, he is so busy playing with his new ipad, he doesn't notice there is a problem until she has changed her status from "Married" to "It's Complicated". 

After considering these thoughts, I couldn't help but wonder if that is what went wrong with King Henry the Eighth. Think about it, while on the throne, King Henry VIII went through six wives, so perhaps the problem was all the time he was spending twittering Anne Boleyn when he should have been home comforting Catherine. 

KingHenry King Henry 8

Music Monday: “Swing Life Away” by Rise Against http://plzretwt.me/jl431 via @AnneBoleyn...You are all I dream of.

AnneBoleyn Anne Boleyn

@KingHenry Swing your life away from Catherine...right now! I will give you A SON #Royalty

Let's face it, if King Henry had not had all the distractions that come about from the internet, surely he would have had a successful marriage with Catherine. Or at least the second time around with Anne Boleyn. Or surely in the third one with Jane, after Anne was beheaded? Right? Surely, the reason his marriages were so tumultuous was because he lived in a time of too many modern conveniences and too much temptation.

It really is ironic when we blame a tool for the havoc that occurs in our lives. The internet, on it's own merit, doesn't have the ability to make my marriage good or bad. Just the same as my oven--on it's own accord--lacks the ability to make my dinner tasty. 

The ingredients that I pour into my marriage are going to define how it is going to come out. If I pour into my marriage an attitude of selfishness it doesn't matter if I am blogging, knitting, or rebuilding the transmission in my car. The thing that is distracting me is merely a tool for this age. There has always been distraction. 

Ephesians 5:15-17 was the scripture used by the Pastor in our church this morning as he was encouraging us to slow down and aim for a lifestyle that is not characterized by busyness.

"Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

As he was sharing the verse, I immediately began to write down "making the most of every opportunity..." and before I could even finish my scribbles, he said

"Most people focus on the words: making the most of every opportunity. And they don't look at the words before it. " 

Wait. What? I had to drop my pen and just stare and listen. Everything in the media, everything in the world--especially in the great big LAND OF OPPORTUNITY tells us to "seize the day!"And you want me to listen to the words before it. What the heck were the words before it!?

"Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise"

The bottom line is this. Having more and more available to us is all in vein, if the more and more is taking us away from being the person we are supposed to be. God created me to be in a relationship with Him. That is THE MOST important relationship that exists for me. The second most important relationship is the one with my husband. So, if I am not meeting my husband's needs because I am blogging, or because I have to check in with my 6500 friends on Facebook, my priorities are out of whack. However, if I am not meeting his needs because I am spending 12 hours at the gym--the same rules apply. If I am selfishly pulling away from him to have my needs met elsewhere, that is the problem.

It's not the media or the social networking that pulls us away from our spouses. It's selfishness. 

Linking today to continue my count of the 1000 Gifts in my life, with a nod to the theme for today on Media Mondays: Media and our Marriages, and Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday. I leave you with this:

76:: Time uninterrupted, used wisely

77:: A husband who wants me to sit on the couch and watch a romantic movie

78:: The OFF button on my computer

79:: Post it notes, to save my thoughts for later

80:: XXX Church, a website and an organization to help men be accountable for porn addictions. 

81:: A husband who reads, and loves, my blogs

82:: The days that we spend away from the house--completely unplugged

83:: The fighting we do not do...thanks to humility and GPS.

Media Mondays: Purpose vs. Obsession

"She's a great student; she just needs to understand that SCHOOL is not for SOCIALIZING." 

Who knew that my second grade teacher was a prophet? 

Finding the balance between what I am supposed to do with my time and what I feel like doing with my time has been a lifetime struggle. I think of the words of Paul in Romans 7 and relax in the knowledge that since my battle is not just Physical and Physiological, but also Spiritual in nature, it can be overcome with the help of the One who created our complex beings. I am not in this alone.

There are days when I feel the urge to connect and encourage others so strongly that it truly does feel like a mission. My goal on Facebook is to find a way to let the people in that world feel loved. I pray that the comments I leave with let them know that they matter to me. I take a few moments to look --and "LIKE"--the pictures of their child playing soccer or their new grandchild--because I want them to know that I am happy for them and that I am on the sidelines of their life--cheering them on! In these moments I feel that the Lord looks at my second grade attempts of encouragement and is pleased with my yearning to socialize.

Then there are days when I am insecure and doubtful in my own life choices and rather than taking my insecurities to the Lord, I feel drawn to find some relief in the Blue and White world of Profiles and Updates. Checking and rechecking the updates, clicking in a numb and dull state--comparing what is happening in the lives of others with what is NOT happening in the life of myself. My world begins to feel as small as the laptop I hold -- and I ignore the whispers of the Lord who longs for me to come outside and walk with Him. 

Finding balance between the good and the "not so good" is harder for me than the obvious battles of good verses bad. It is harder for all of us. But, once again...we are not in this alone.  

For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.  

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, 

  but I am doing the very thing I hate.  

 Romans 7:14-15

Read more about Media Mondays at Women Living Well Ministries.