C is for Crazy Cat Lady

GUEST BLOGGER! Luna Lovegood

Before beginning, I would like to take a moment to thank Adventures in the Ordinary for having me as their guest blogger today. I find the work on this blog riveting and insightful and I am honored to be a contributing author to this site. ~L.L.

I was born in February of 2010 and I share a home with my two Step Sisters, a Canine and a Feline. In the home that my Sisters and I own, we lease space to my Adoptive Parents. They reside in the interior dwelling, with their litter of three. Recently, I myself became the mother to triplets. Since the birth of my children, there has been some speculation over whether or not my Mother, with whom I live, would become a "Crazy Cat Lady" if she did not have a man living in the home with her. I would like to present some evidence to the contrary. I think when you hear the facts as to why it would be impossible for her to ever be considered a Crazy Cat Lady you will be able to help me in my pursuit to dispel the fears of my Father, and join me in my petition to let me keep my three children. 

While there are days that my Mother does come across as a bit of a loon, I believe that these things are far from anything related to the feline world. One of the most glaring examples of her failing judgment is her utter disregard for safety. For example, last summer, I watched as she climbed onto a piece of inflated plastic and floated on top of the water that fills the gigantic hole in my backyard. Surely, my Mother has a death wish, or perhaps, she has a brain tumor that is pressing against the Amygdala portion of her brain, inhibiting her ability to understand what she should fear. After seeing her riding about on the pink, plastic, rectangular tube, I attempted to show her how unstable it was. In my attempt to maneuver the "boat" it immediately lost all air pressure. Just by my touch I was able to deflate it. This should have been evidence to her that riding it was a bad idea. Did she thank me for showing her the instability of her device? No, she simply found another plastic floating device to proceed with her X-treme sport. Now, while this is crazy, this is certainly NOT something that can be contributed to a Cat Lady dysfunction.

For my second point, I would like to present the following video as evidence. And, I would like to offer thanks to my brothers for introducing me to the likes of the following video.

You will notice that the Crazy Cat Lady in this video does not take care of her cats. My Mother is nothing like this. She is very gentle and hardly ever throws me. My Father, on the other paw, will often kick me off the bed with his foot, but as I fly through the air (always landing on my feet) my Mother always gives him the evil cat eye. Surely, she would never throw her cats. You will also notice that the Crazy Cat Lady in this video did not do her hair or her make-up. My Mother would never leave the house looking like that. While she is not a fashion-ista, she does take the time to bathe and apply mascara. 

Finally, the last and best point in cast to prove that my Mother is not on the path towards becoming a Crazy Cat Lady is evidenced in her writings on her blog and in her social networking. A woman who is slowly losing touch with the "real world" would be writing of her cats activities as though anyone else in the world cared. A future Crazy Cat Lady would be posting pictures of her cat and shots of her cat's litter. My Mother is far from that. She rarely talks about me in public and hardly ever makes reference to me in conversations or in speaking engagements. If my Mother were truly on her way to becoming a Crazy Cat Lady, I would not have had to introduce myself at the beginning of this post, you would have already known who I was.

Thank you for allowing me to join you on the path of self discovery. I look forward to reading your comments and your words for the letter "C". And, rest assured, tomorrow, for the letter "D" we will not be hearing from the Dog--hate to tell you, but, she is a moron. 

I am a jealous cat god

Okay, so for those of you who read my last post about Luna Lovegood, my adulterous kitten and her ordinary adventures in my neighborhood, you may be surprised to hear (or perhaps not surprised at all) that the Facebook incident is still in my head. Now, before you judge me, know this: I was actually once diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Granted, if you spend enough time with a Psychiatrist you can eventually get diagnosed with something--so I don't worry too much about it and when I do get a little too obsessed with something I show myself grace. That being said, back to the kitten.

For those of you who are unaware, my neighbor posted a picture of himself with my kitten inside of his house with a quote that read, "My neighbor's kitten who apparently likes me and my sister more than her own family". And for reasons that I cannot explain, that has been making me a little neurotic. The rest of the Silly family I live with are more taken aback with the the young man for taking my kitten INTO his home and taking a picture and putting it on his Facebook. For me, it's the words that are still stinging.

The relationship between my kitten and I, that used to be built on trust is disintegrating. We are becoming more like strangers because of the distance I feel when she returns home. I know that she is no longer "faithful" and I am jealous. When I don't know where she is, I assume she is with "him".

And lets face it, for all intensive purposes, I am her god. I feed her, I pet her, I love her (and while she may assume this means she is God, we know that is blasphemy) and I do it all because I choose to and because I want to have a pure relationship with her. My college age son laughs at me, because when I go to find the little feline anymore--there is a desperation that emerges when I cannot. Calling to her in with the "Luna, Baby, Kitty" is no longer for her ears only, but for the neighbor's ears--as a warning.

Recently, while floating in my pool and watching her chase lizards in the rose bushes, I was struck with a thought about how God wants my attention and about how He is a jealous God. He longs for my faithfulness in all my situations. When I am lonely and I turn to Facebook to fill the void, when I am frustrated and insecure and I allow my tongue to speak in tongues that are CERTAINLY not of angels, when I am chasing after the latest (fill in the blank) to satisfy my craving for more--he is jealous. He doesn't want me to turn to other things to fill the voids, ever. My kitten comes home to eat and for me to play with her and spend time petting her and that is good. But it is not what she is doing when she is in my presence that is causing frustration--it is what she does when she is away from me. God is there for me constantly and He will feed me and nurture me through time in his word. We can meet and worship at any moment and he will listen to me when I pray--but again, it's not my behavior when I am with Him. It is how I am behaving when I place my trust in anything other than Him.

There is very little I can do about my kitten's behavior, so I will continue to take whatever affection she gives to me when she is willing to give it, but in the moments when I begin to feel frazzled from her absence I guess that's a time for me to trust in the One who brought her into our family. He continually reminds me that even when she is unfaithful, He is faithful all the time.

My adulterous kitten is on Facebook

I had just fallen asleep when my phone went off at 11:57 PM. I saw that it was my daughter calling, so I answered the way all Mother’s do at the stroke of midnight,

“What’s wrong?”

The answer, that came in the form of a question, threw me for a loop.

“Mom, where’s Luna?”

Luna Lovegood is our kitten. She came to live with our family in May as a birthday present to my son whose pet cat, Max, had been murdered by a passing car on Christmas Eve. The reason I say he was murdered is because Max was the head of the Cat Mafia on the street where we live and rarely does anyone in the Mafia just die. It was definitely a hit.

Now when the my daughter asked me about the kitten’s whereabouts, I had images of having to go back out into the street and claim the little body of my sweet baby kitty. I was immediately awake and alarmed.

When I fumbled out some sort of response, my daughter said that one of her friends had seen something on Facebook about a kitten that she was sure was our Luna.

**Now, before I lead into the part of the story where I say that I went to the front door and called for Luna, please do not judge me for letting my cats go outside at night. We will just end up debating the issue and in the end, I will still let them out. It’s how I’ve done cats for 43 years.

Opening the door, I called for her in her customary Luna cat call, “Luna Baby Kitty!”

Across the lawn she came with her little bell ringing to announce her arrival. She bounced up into my arms and I brought her inside. I poured her some Kitten Chow and I sent a text message off to my protective daughter to let her know that all was well in the cat world. End of story.

Wrong.

Ten minutes later my daughter sent a picture to my phone. On the screen there was a picture of Luna. On Facebook. With my neighbor?

He is sitting inside his house and holding my sweet little kitten and the caption says, “My neighbors cat who seems to like me and my sister more than her own family”

My heart began to pound in my chest. What did he say about my kitten? How could he possibly infer that my kitten likes him and his sister more than her own family? I became so angry, I had thoughts of going right over and knocking on his door and saying, “No. She loves me. She comes when I call her! She purrs when I hold her! She sleeps on my desk! And don't take my cat into your house! ”

Then, I remember. She is a cat. She is a dumb cat. She is simply an animal who is driven by instinct and will not have to answer before the Lord when she dies. He is a man. He is a young man who seems most of the times that I see him, pretty lonely.

It’s kind of strange to think that the simple act of him posting a picture of himself with my cat could have ramifications in either direction. I can withhold the cat. I could start to keep her inside and never let her go out to chase lizards. I could deny him access to her by giving her very little time outside and watching where she goes when she’s out.

Or, I can let her go. Let her spend time with his family and look for opportunities to talk to them more often. Reach out to their family and find ways to show them love. I can use this moment to remember that God will use just about anything to get my attention and to draw me near to the cross.

Can God use my cat to bring me closer to my neighbor? Yes, I believe He can.

Can I allow my neighbor to say something slightly questionable about me on Facebook? Yes. I believe I can.