Today was a terrible day filled with dark emotions that wanted to overtake me. My heart was melting and my mind was overpowering me at times. I was losing perspective and I wanted to sit under my desk. Please do not ask me how sitting under my desk would make ANYTHING better. I don't know.
I went into the backyard to sit and talk to the Lord and listen to the birds. Usually, I don't take advise from birds, especially sparrows--as I find them to be rather flighty. (Sorry, couldn't resist). Today, however, I was truly wanting someone--winged or otherwise--to comfort me. I reached toward the Holy Spirit and I heard Him promise me that it would all pass. I heard him tell me that disappointments come in all shapes and sizes and happen in every month of the year--even in summer.
Later, when David came home we began to talk about what constitutes "failure". (I was feeling like a big fat one of those and the birds weren't telling me any different)
Spoiler Alert: David told me he doesn't think I am a failure. I know you didn't see THAT coming! He went on to describe things about me that he treasures and things that he feels the Lord values. This is the reason I am blessed. I chose wisely. It was 23 years ago, but I chose well.
As we talked, something came up that reminded him that I am going to see the 3 Twilight movies tomorrow night with Emily and some friends. He said that he would be willing to go sit in the freezer tonight and get to the temperature of Edward Cullen, so we could make love and I could think of Vampires. When I laughed out loud, he said, "I'm a giver". This man is loving me like Christ loves the church every single day. I am blessed.
Later, he asked me if I wanted to go to Disneyland on this summer night. I responded with "Hell no." He laughed out loud.
Again, I am blessed. And since I chose wisely, I must not be a failure.
